Just to fuck with people, Jacob Mulroney changes his social networking status to “engaged”.

He gets messages from person after person after person saying, “Holy Shit dude! Congratufuckinglations!” or “Whoa…I always thought you were Gay. JK-Bob. BTW, I want in on your bachelor party!”

He has friends from all over the world E-mailing him wanting to know why the fuck this is the first they’ve heard of this. They didn’t even know he was dating.

Just to fuck with people, he uploads fake photos of his fake bride to be riding horseback on a beach. He super imposes his face by her body and writes captions like “wish you here fuckheads!”

Laying in his room somewhere, Jacob Mulroney has fake pictures of mahogany furniture and porcelain vases all waiting to be scanned and uploaded. He has coffee tables and dartboards and fake plastic trees, all waiting to show the world how cool his fake fucking house is. This fuckface, he even has pictures of a bowling alley he put in his basement.

If you click on his profile, you’ll see he’s the president of some high tech conglomerate with cool break rooms that have sofas and soda machines. What a fucking crackup right?

This asshole makes fake diplomas and fake certificates and shows them to everyone he knows online. I bet even his Grand Canyon National Chili Cook-off trophy is bullshit. Like this dickhead can cook.

It’s fucking horrible. It really is.

Just to fuck with people, this piece of shit steals photos of ex-girlfriends and young mothers and crops out the boyfriend and children. Can you believe that shit?

On the front page of his social network profile, mutual friends of friends write things like, ” Damn dude, I’d like to motor boat those titties.” or “anytime you wanna swap girls let me know. My bitch is down.LMFAO ”

I’m sick and fucking tired of everyone always thinking how cool it is to be Jacob Mulroney’s friend.

“Jacob Mulroney once dated Jennifer Lopez”, or “Jacob Mulroney toured with U2.”

“Did you see the car Jacob Mulroney is driving?”

Who the fuck cares! It’s all bullshit anyway.

Makes me fucking sick.

Just to fuck with Jacob Mulroney, I set up a fake profile of my own. My hair has long red highlights. I give myself tattoos and a Monroe piercing above my upper lip. I even have size 44 double D titties.

How’d you like to have me for a girlfriend Jacob Mulroney? You fucking asshole!

Just to fuck with him, I go online and send out a friend request.

Can you believe it? This dumb piece of shit actually accepted me. Now he sends me messages like, “Hey, how’d you like to grab some pizza and fuck? JK-But really, want to grab some pizza.”

I’m like “Hehe, you really know how to sweet talk a lady Jacob. Of course I want to grab some pizza.”

Then just this morning, this piece of shit sends me a message and wants to know my phone number? He wants my phone number! LMFAO!!! What a complete fuckface!

Of course I panicked and gave him the number to my house phone, but then I had to have my little fucking sister change the greeting for me. FUCK MY LIFE!

Oh but it gets better. Can you believe that? A story like this one, getting better than it already is?

Of course this piece of shit has to call during dinner time.

Right when mom was serving the chicken with cream of mushroom soup!

Of course just as dad was chewing his broccoli and drinking his beer the answering machine goes “Hi, you’ve reached Jasmine, I’m not here right now, but leave a message, and if it’s sexy enough, I’ll get back to you.” Right then and there my dumb fucking sister starts to giggle cause it’s her voice on the machine.

After mom and dad stop eating, right after they swallow their chicken with cream of mushroom soup, this fucking asshole over the machine says “Hey um, this is Jacob. I was just wondering if we could get that pizza tomorrow.” Then this dingle berry tells the machine that he’d do it tonight, but he’s on call at the hospital all night. What a fucking chump!

After my parents look at Camilla like WTF, and she points at me and says it was my idea and I look at her and say I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about and dad slaps me for swearing and Camilla gets grounded for a whole year, after all of that, fucking mom decides she’s gonna look at the caller ID and call and this stupid piece of shit back.

Whoops

Didn’t see this one coming.

So, sitting on the couch in the living room is Camilla and she’s like “mom, it wasn’t my idea, he made me do it…” and I’m like “Whatfuckingever!” and dads like “Watch your fucking mouth young man!” and moms like “Hello, is this the young man who just called my house?”

And this fucking dumbshit was probably like, “Why yes it is, you still wanna grab that pizza?” Cause mom was like “I don’t ever want you to call this house again, YOU HEAR ME!”

Laughing hysterically outside the living room, I can just see this fucking coward stiffen up and be like “Yes Mam! I’m terribly sorry! It won’t ever happen again.”

What a fucking looser! LOL

Mom hangs up and says it was just the machine.

After Camilla and I clear the table and do the dishes, I go upstairs and log back online.

Just to fuck with him, Jasmine sends him a message wanting to know if he’s gonna call her soon.

Would you fucking know it, this piece of shit comes online and tells her some old lady called and told him to stay away! LMAO!

So I was like, “No baby…that’s not me, you must have called the wrong number. I live all by myself sweetie.”

And he was like, “That’s cool, I guess.”

Then I’m like “Goodnight baby!”

And he’s like “Goodnight sexy!” and we both log off and I go to sleep.

Just to fuck with him, in the morning I go on the wall of Jacob Mulroney’s social networking site and write “Hey baby! I’m really looking forward to hanging out with you tonight!”

This is perfect because his status shows “engaged” right? So all of his friends from all around the world that think he’s so cool will be like “Hey, that’s not cool man!” and “remind me to un-friend you…starting now”, or “Hey, I was just kidding about the girl swap thing bro, I don’t want my lady chillin’ with a D bag like you anyway.”

I can’t fucking wait!

At school, just before P.E., I get a message alert on my phone.

Jacob Mulroney says “I can’t make it, sorry. This angioplasty is going to keep me busy all night. Let’s do it some other time K?”

Whatfuckingever! Angioplasty my ass! What ever happened to high tech conglomerates and cool break rooms with sofas you fucking liar!

So I write back, “That’s cool sexy. Can’t wait to see if you in person. XOXOXO”

Can you believe this fucking dickface is standing me up?

After school dad asks me to take out the garbage but I tell him I’m too busy. What I’m really doing is logging online just to fuck with Jacob Mulroney. What a fucking joke he is!

On his profile, all of his friends from all around the world write things like”Whoaaaa! Good job player! Break me off some sucka!” and “ménage trios Mondays at my place!”

What a bunch of fucking assholes! Like Jasmine would ever be that kind of girl, you know?

Only Jacob Mulroney can be a two timin’ douche bag and the people love him for it.

FUCKING PRICK!

Three hours later, just before dinner, he sends me a message telling me I mis-typed my phone number.

Mis-typed Jacob? I think I know my own phone number mother fucker.

He sends me an instant message saying “I tried calling again. That same old lady answered the phone. She told me she was calling the police.”

I was like “You sure you have the right number baby?”

And he was like “I checked it three times…”

And I was like “Huh…”

Then he asked for my number again.

I tell him I’m kinda busy at the moment but will text it to him in a min.

Then he was like, “K”

Then I went to P.E. class and ran around the gym and did pushups. Did I tell you how much I hate fucking pushups? UGH!

Walking through Tanner Park, the neighborhood with all those big fucking houses, I hop over fences and take pictures of backyard swimming pools and hot tubs.

This one house, has a red Lamborghini just sitting in the driveway. A red fucking Lamborghini! So I walk right up to it and stand there and take a picture of this Lamborghini. Then some guy comes out the door and is like “Hey, what the fucks going on here!” and I’m like “just taking a picture of your car man,” and he’s like “Get off my property before I call the police!” So I was like “fucking relax, I wasn’t gonna do anything.” So he says ” Hey, don’t I know you?” and I was like “You fucking wish old man.” But then, and get this, he’s like “Yeah, you delivered my paper for two years!”

Opps

So back home I go online and post all these pictures of me and my swimming pool, and me and my palm trees and hammocks and me and a red fucking Lamborghini. On every picture I tag comments like “Getting ready for my nighttime swim, any guys wanna join me?”

Right after I post this, I get twenty three friend requests in ten minutes.

Ten fucking minutes!

I bet you never got friend requests like this Jacob Mulroney. You fucking fake ass piece of shit!

After ten O’clock, I have a hundred and seven notifications! A HUNDRED AND SEVEN!

All of my new friends write comments like “WHOOOAAAA, lookin’ good sex muffin. Anytime you want to go skinny dipping’ just let me know.

Even fucking girls comment. This one chick, she was like “Nice Lamborghini, how’d you like a landamimi?” BTW- Her name was Mimi. ROTGL!!!

So I stay up until midnight trying to reply to every single comment people write. By Eleven 45, I have two hundred and forty seven! Holy Shit! I can’t even do my homework cause I’m too busy responding! And I have a test in economics tomorrow! FUCK ME!

Being popular is a full time job I guess.

Read these comments Jacob fucking Mulroney!

Just before bedtime, I send Jacob Mulroney a message saying “Going to bed. I’ll be dreaming of you. XOXOXO” What a fucking looser. He’s probably busy falling in love as we speak.

In the morning, I go online and have forty five new notifications. All of them want to be MY friend.

Just look at me now. Friends with guys with good tans and master degrees! How many friends do you have like that Jacob Mulroney?

Before school I upload pictures of nightclubs and after parties and expensive restaurants. I super impose my face in every single one of them. On every picture I write things like “Great time last night at Shaggy’s! Too bad everyone couldn’t make it):

So on Saturday nights, my family always gets together and watches movies and eats popcorn. Camilla and I usually fight over the last soda.

So this Saturday, mom knocks on the door and she’s like “honey, we’re gonna start the movie.” and I’m like “I’ll be down in a minute.” and she’s like “K” and I’m like “K” and I go back to uploading pictures of walk in closets with rows and rows of expensive high heel shoes.

Twenty minutes later, Camilla knocks on the door and she’s like “are you coming down or what?”

I tell her to grab the cordless phone and to come in my room for minute. Just a moment later I flip through the caller ID and find Jacob Mulroney’s phone number. Get this! I have my sister call and I know he answers cause Camilla’s like “Hi, is this Jacob?” And this dumb fuck is probably like “Why yes it is, is this Jasmine? I’ve been dying to hear your voice.”

Instead Camilla hangs up the phone and says he’s busy.

Who the fuck does this guy think he is?

I ask Camilla what the fuck was more important than talking to Jasmine?

Camilla’s like “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him yourself.” and I’m like “Fuck You! You just don’t fucking get it do you!” So then she’s like “I’m telling mom and dad!”But then I’m like “Then I’ll tell them about you and Heather’s sleep over and the rated R movies!”

She just sticks her tongue at me and leaves. Figures. What a fucking baby!

After the movie is over, I’m still upstairs uploading pictures of red Juicy Couture dresses and black Dolce Gabbana sunglasses.

My dad, he decides he’s just gonna walk into my room. Doesn’t even fucking knock.

Don’t mind me dad, not like I’m fucking doing anything.

So Dad is like “You missed the movie.” and I was like “Sorry, I had homework to do.” and he was like “No you don’t, it’s a Saturday.”

Can you believe that? Actually calling me a liar right to my fucking face!

So naturally I was like, “It’s a school project, it makes up for 30% of our grade.”

My fucking dad just sits there on the edge of my bed and folds his legs and says “Is there anything you want to talk about son?”

Anything I want to talk about? With you? Not a fucking chance!

I don’t say anything. I just there and shake my head sideways with a confusing look on my face.

My dad, he just fucking sits there and thumbs through a better homes and gardens magazine.

“Your mother and I love you. No matter what changes you may be going through, or how confusing it may be.”  He says.

Confusing? Try figuring out how to do an accent wall in a New York studio loft. Oh, you don’t even know a half of how confusing this is Dad.

Finally after what felt like Ten Years of silence, dad finally gets up and walks out my room.

Just as I was placing an Autumn centerpiece on a contemporary dining room table, downstairs I hear day say to mom, “I found your magazines.”

The next few weeks, Jacob Mulroney doesn’t spend one single second talking to me. Sure, we’re still friends online, but this Mother Fucker apparently has better things to do.

What the fuck did I do?

Even after I post log cabins and fireplaces and bear skin rugs. Even after I message him and say “Hey baby, going to my cabin for Thanksgiving, wish you were coming with me.”

Even after I give myself a diamond stud in my cleavage and change my profile pic.

This selfish dickhead doesn’t even notice.

He’s off in Brazil donating fake fucking rainforests in the names of fake fucking friends that died in Iraq. What a complete fucking nut job! Right?

This asshole uploads picture after picture after picture of soil being dug, ribbons being cut and big silver keys being handed to him.

On his wall, all of his friends post comments like “This is sooooo ccoooolllllll! Can’t believe I know you man!” and “You’re an inspiration to us all!”

Underneath everyone, I just comment iiIi/

One night Camilla comes walking into my room. Just fucking unannounced she walks right in and sits on my bed. She tells me “Stephanie Gerber told me when you want a boy to like you just ignore him.”

Can you believe this shit? My fucking sister giving me advice? ABOUT A GUY! LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

I tell her to get the fuck out of my room and throw a dirty shirt on her face.

The next morning, when I wake up, I don’t even write anything. Nothing at all. I go to the news feed and make fake status updates like “Going to the beach to work on my tan!” and “Cabo San Lucas makes great Margaritas!”

Some of my friends, they respond with ” Ay Carumba! Have fun!” and “drink six of them for me will ya!:)”

Nothing from Jacob Mulroney though. Fucking Asshole!

He writes on his wall “catching a Bull Fish on the Amazon is harder than it looks!”

All of his cool friends reply with, “Holy fucking shit! That’s so cool!” and “Did ya see any piranhas?”

Fucking fake piece of shit!

Just for shits and giggles, I create another fake profile and send a friend request to Jasmine. She accepts of course, without any hesitation.

Jasmine’s new friend, Carlton Edwards, he has biceps and triceps and tan skin. Even though his profile age says thirty six, his body looks twenty four. He has shaggy blond hair and blue eyes and looks like he’s six foot four. His occupation online says “professional surfer”.

Carlton Edwards, the professional surfer with blond hair, he writes on Jasmine’s wall things like “Hey, when you coming back to back to Malibu? And she writes things like, “When you coming back to Aspen?” And then he writes things like, “Whenever you want me to sweetie.” And she writes things like, ” How’s about now!?”

I can just see it now. “…and the couple of the year award goes too…” Not Jacob fucking Mulroney!

Shithead.

Late at night when I can’t sleep, Carlton Edwards writes poems and love letters on Jasmine’s wall.

“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I can’t sleep tonight baby, I’m too busy thinking of you ”

I also like; ” Dear Jasmine, just the other day, while I was outside on the Sandy Beach, I watched the low tide come flowing up and around my ankles and toes. This felt like your love surrounding me and tickling my toes as you pull me back down into the ocean.”

Pretty fucking good right? I thought of it all by myself while I was watching some show on the CW.

When morning comes, I make sure to wake up extra early. This way Jasmine has time to check her messages and respond. Looking at Carlton’s poems and love letters, she responds with “OMG, you just made my heart skip a beat. When are you coming to see me!? XOXOXO

A week goes by and nothing from Jacob Mulroney. He’s off in Butt Fucking Egypt saving baby tigers from local poachers.

Carton Edwards, he goes to Jasmine’s wall and writes ” At club Le deux. Thinking of you ”

Then Jasmine goes onto his wall and writes, “Going to birthday bash for Cameron Diaz. She wants ME to help blow out the candles!”

Back and forth these two loves birds go.

Friends from all around the world write things like “You guys look so cute.” and “Remember, when in doubt, pull it out!”

Last week, this fucking asshole friend of Jasmine’s, he was like “When you gonna put them titties on the glass for me?” and she was like, “Sorry, I don’t date assholes.”

Fucking good one! Right?

Just to fuck with people, I go online and ask all my friends for their address. I’m making Christmas cards with Carlton and Jasmine holding hands on Waikiki. I wanted to give them one name like they do with Celebrities, like Casmin, or Jarlton, but I don’t think the world is ready for that yet.

Just look at them? Fucking Love Birds. I bet after the sun goes down, they go up to some fancy hotel suite and order room service and make love till the sun comes up.

Even though Camilla and I are too old, Mom and Dad still put Christmas presents under the tree from Santa Claus. I know, fucking stupid right? It’s actually not that bad. I think they do it just because they still want us to be those ten and six year old kids walking down the stairs with big fucking eyelids open or something.

This Christmas morning, I wake up extra early. I go online and post Merry Christmas wishes from Carlton to Jasmine and Jasmine to Carlton.

These two are so fucking adorable.

Jacob Mulroney, he’s off in the swiss alps somewhere, skiing with snow bunnies and Tom Cruise.

Downstairs I hear Camilla talk about how much she loves her new bicycle.

Dad wants to know where her brother is and Camilla’s like “I don’t know, why don’t you ask him.” and mom’s like “Did you wake him up?” and Camilla’s like “No, he was already up.” and mom must have looked at dad and dad must have looked at mom cause together they both say “The internet.”

Jasmine and Carlton, the two of them hold hands under Hawaiian moonlight and share kisses. Before I go downstairs to open presents Carlton writes, “I don’t ever want this moment to stop.” and Jasmines writes back, “Me neither! BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! XOXOXO”

For New Years, Jasmine and Carlton go to posh parties in large Malibu homes and eat catered shrimp and caviar.

Jacob Mulroney, he sips white wine and mingles with musicians in Upper East Side Apartments.

I don’t know what’s worse, being a fake or being a fake groupie.

Jasmine and Carlton go online and write each other New Year’s resolutions.

My online friends from all around the world, they post comments like, “Adorable! You guys are so cute! MUAH!”

Where’s the love of YOUR life Jacob Mulroney. I’d like to see you try and find Ms. Perfect while you’re busy hob knobbing in Madonna’s home!

On Super bowl Sunday, mom yells from downstairs, “Honey, kickoff’s about to start!” This is when I fucked up and before thinking I say, “Give me a minute, I’m trying to purpose!”

What a complete fucking Moron!

Then of course, dad was like, “What the fuck did he just say? and mom was like “Did our son say he’s getting married?” and Camilla was like, “No, he’s just doing it to make a boy jealous…opps.”

Of course I tell them I was just fucking kidding. Then dad was like “What did I tell you about your mouth?” and mom was like, “You’re trying to make who jealous?”

FUCKING CAMILLA! Her and her big fucking mouth!

Despite the sign on my door, Dad walks right in decides he’s gonna sit on my bed. WTF!???

“DO NOT ENTER” signs on teenage doors are so over rated.

So dad hands me this white envelope addressed to me. The return address is from some abandoned building off of Forest Avenue.

Dad just sits there on my bed and asks if I’m gonna open it.

Of course I’m going to open it. It’s addressed to me isn’t’ it!?

Dad just sits there and gives me some fatherly look his dad probably gave him when he was my age. I tell him I’ll open it later.

My dad, he fucking tells me that mom and he are worried about me. “Really worried” he says. They both think I’m spending too much time in my room and on the computer.

This is when I’m like, “Relax dad, I’m just trying to get the top grade in my class.” and he’s like, ” You have a 2.4 grade point average.” and I’m like, ” Well if I was perfect I wouldn’t have to try so hard would I?” and he’s like, “Don’t get smart!” and I’m like, “Fuck, I’m not.” and he’s like, “Watch your mouth!”

Father/Son bonding is fucking horrible!

So after dad leaves my room and my mom says “What did you say to him?” and dad was like, “I told him we were worried.” and mom was like, “What did he say?” and dad says, “I’ll tell you later.”, I finally opened that fucking envelope.

It’s a wedding invitation from Jasmine and Carlton holding hands with a setting sun behind them.

The caption below reads “You are cordially invited to the wedding ceremony of Mr. Carlton Edwards and Ms. Jasmine Singleton, Saturday, April 23rd at Five O’clock P.M.

Pretty good huh? I thought of it all by myself.

Would you just look at them? These two love birds ready to take the next step of their already wonderful and captivating lives.

Where’s your fucking wedding Jacob Mulroney?

After school yesterday, Camilla follows me home and wants to know what sign I am.

So I’m like, “What the fuck do you mean what sign am I?” and she was like, “Cause Stephanie Gerber told me that if the boy you like is Aquarius, they always go hand in hand with Aries.” So I’m like, “What the fuck is your point?” and she’s like, “Nothing, I’m just saying.”

Stephanie Gerber can mind her own fucking business! Fucking know it all.

Yesterday, my economics teacher sent a letter home with me telling my parents I was failing.

Like I’m gonna show this stupid letter to my parents. LMAO

She told me to have my parents sign it. Yeah okay, I’ll just fucking walk right up to them and tell them, “mom, dad, I’m failing economics. Sorry ’bout that one.”

These people have no idea how hard it is to plan a wedding during third period.

The next five nights I go online and download pictures of Church Cathedrals, limousine service and honeymoon destinations. I think Carlton is thinking Thailand.

I spend family game night looking at pictures of white gold with princess cut diamonds.

On Taco Tuesday I eat as fast as I can and run upstairs and look for black tuxedos with lime colored vests.

Friends from all over send well wishes like, “Sorry I can’t make it to the wedding. Wishing you the very best.” and “Make some fucking babies well ya!?”

Last Sunday Camilla hovered over my shoulder for I don’t know how long. Just as I was looking at a Cathedral Length Vail with Guipure Lace she says “Stephanie Gerber says disposable cameras make the best party favors.”

Just when I couldn’t have any more distractions, now I have Camilla and Stephanie Gerber trying to run my wedding. I tell Camilla, “If Stephanie Gerber knows so much about weddings, why doesn’t she fucking come here herself and help out!

Camilla sticks her tongue out and says “I’m telling mom and dad you said the F word!”

And I say, “I don’t FUCKING care!” LMFFFFFFAO

I fucking crack myself up sometimes:)

During dinner time I tell mom that I’m sick to my stomach and won’t be coming down for dinner. What else was I supposed to do? Tell mom I have a reverend to hire and a reception to plan? Yeah fucking right! That would go over well. LOL

Mom would be like, “Sweetheart, you really need to talk to someone about this.” and dad would be like, “I knew something was wrong. Just fucking knew it.”

No, I don’t think so. I’ll just stay in my room and fake a stomach ache looking at pictures of cake toppers and toasting flutes.

Spring break is finally here! HOLY FUCKING FOREVER! No homework! No pushups! No fucking economics! Just me and only the biggest day ever for two amazing people! I can’t fucking wait!

Tomorrow morning I have so much shit I need to do. Before I go to bed I push my dresser up against my door, since no one fucking knocks around here. I think for a minute about ordering last minute wedding favors and guest books, but I decide to catch some sleep instead.

This morning, Camilla knocks on my door and wants to borrow a blanket cause her room’s cold.

Fucking needy little brat!

I’m right in the middle of booking a plane ticket to Phuket and a limo ride to the hotel.

Yes, people do work around here. FUCK!

After mom cooks us pancakes, everything turns to complete shit! Can you fucking believe that? Just after my glass of orange juice, some dickhead wearing a blue coat and one of those stupid fucking caps, the ones with the ears that pull down, he fucking rings our doorbell and has a package in his hand. Just as I tried to get up and open the door, mom was like, “I’ll get that honey.” and I was like “No, you just spent all morning cooking breakfast, let me get that.” and she was like, ” I got it.”

As soon as this dumb fucking jerk hands her this package, I excuse myself from the table and run upstairs and slide my dresser back in front of the door.

Jasmine and Carlton have bridesmaids and flower girls and ring beareres. His groomsmen are wearing Armani tuxedos with diamond cufflinks. Her bridesmaids wear tan Anna Nicole dresses with Jimmy Chew shoes. On my computer screen, there are rose pedals falling to the floor. I have isle after isle after isle of men women and children dressed to perfection waiting for this momentous occasion.

It couldn’t be more perfect!

Then fucking mom pounds on the door.

She wants to know why the door wont move.

It probably wont move mom because I have the eighty pound dresser uncle made me behind it.

So I’m like, “Hold on, just a minute!” and she’s like, “Open this door right now mister!” and I’m like “Geeze! Give me just a second will ya!”

Sliding an eighty pound dresser isn’t as easy as it looks.

Right now, mom’s a little pig who wants to huff and puff and blow this fucking door down.

I slide the dresser enough just to open the door and stick my head through the crack.

In my best Donkey impersonation and go, “YEEEEUUUUUUSSSSSSS?” Fucking LMFAO!

Mom tells me this has gone far enough.

She says, “Open the door or I’m going to call your father.” and I’m like, “Sorry mom, I can’t. I’ve got work to do but if you feel like you need to get dad, then there’s nothing I can do to stop you.”

Mom walks away. I take full advantage of this time to post pictures of Jasmine and Carlton standing at the Alter holding hands in hands.

Have you seen a more beautiful weeding? Not in your life Jacob Mulroney.

Looking at the groomsmen looking at the bridesmaids, I just know there’s going to be another wedding sometime next year.

Looking at the bridesmaids looking at the groomsmen, I’ve already got the perfect date.

As I copy and paste and copy and paste pictures of bridesmaids and groomsmen and rice being thrown in the air, I feel a tear run down my cheek.

What a fucking wreck!

I fucking dare you not to cry Jacob Mulroney! You’re probably off in Nigeria mining for blood diamonds and learning Swahili.

Just when this couple drives off with tin cans and “Just Married” signs, fucking dad pounds my fucking door.

“Open this fucking door right now young man!” He tells me.

Not if you’re gonna ask like that I’m not. LOL

I turn around and post pictures of a five star Hotel and a large banquet room. I put parties of six at round tables and serve asparagus with lemon chicken.

Dad tells me he’s gonna tear this fucking door down one way or the other.

They all have baked Alaska with honey cream sauce.

Dad tells me he’s getting the electric screw driver and will back in a minute. I tell him “Okay dad, you know where to find me. ”

Jasmine and Carlton, they arrive with hands cupped together with big wide smiles.

My photo shop cuts Carlton’s hair and gives him tiny blond streaks. Just for the weeding.

Outside, the sound of an electric screw driver buzzes my ears.

Someone stands up in the crowd and makes a toast and everyone raises their glass and cheers.

Fucking dad already has two hinges removed and just needs the bottom one.

All I’m trying to do is get the D.J. to play music.

I put the mini bar in the back and line it with all kinds of different colored bottles.

Pulling its door from its hinges, dad decides he’s gonna push my fucking dresser over and spill all my fucking clothes on the ground! What an asshole!

“I don’t know what you’re up too young man, but this has got to stop!

So just last week, my fucking dad, the asshole that he is, wants to know why his credit card was charged ninety seven hundred bucks.

That’s why I have to use the Hancock County public Library. Fucking mom decided she was going to take my desktop out of my room and lock it in her bedroom somewhere.

I’m not even supposed to be here.

In fact, I’m supposed to be across the street lying on a black leather couch expressing my feelings. Thank you very fucking much but, if I wanted to express my feelings, I’d have Jasmine or Carlton do it for me. Unfortunately, they’re off looking at large five bedroom homes with swimming pools and a beach for the backyard. Probably a fucking rambler style or something. Fucking sappy ass love birds.

Makes me fucking sick to think of!

The librarian is getting tired of me shaking my head and talking out loud all the time.

FUCK HER!

She’s the one who applied for this shitty job. Not me! All I’m doing is giving back to the community my parents pay for. If everyone stayed at home you wouldn’t have a job would you?

OLD FUCKING LADIES!

Dad’s pissed at me and won’t even really talk to me. He says I’ll give him back the ninety seven hundred dollars one way or the other.

I guess I didn’t really have to order a plane ticket to Phuket, or book a non-refundable all rate at the Four Seasons.

It was the best rate I could find though. WHATFUCKINGEVER!

Mom was pissed because the package that came in the mail, the one delivered by the guy with the fucked up cap, it was a photo album of me and my fiance.

She didn’t even know I was engaged.

Until she saw those fake fucking pictures, the ones of me on the beach or me in the rainforests catching bullfish in the amazon, she just assumed I was a sixteen year old kid looking at too much porn and jerking off all day.

Instead, I was busy planning a wedding and starting my life.

I guess I really didn’t have to hire a caterer and pay for Lemon Chicken no one got to eat. When D.J. Love4life showed up to an emtpy ballroom, he still charged me.

Twelve hundred fucking dollars!

My friends from all around the world, they still send me things from time to time. Things like, ” Hey, just making sure you’re doing okay. Haven’t heard from you in a while.” and “Pull that stick out that ass and let’s PPPPPAAAAAARRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYY!”

When the mini bar poured glass after glass after glass of top shelf liquor to buisness men and tourists, they wanted to know where to send the bill.

I guess I didn’t have to actually buy an Armani Tuexdo or the Jessica Mclintock wedding dress. Or even have it wrapped in plastic and kept for a keepsafe.

I guess I didn’t have to do a lot of things.

But I did.

Camilla tells me Stephanie Gerber says that’s just part of growing up.

Sitting here, at the Hancock county public library, just to fuck with people, Jacob Mulroney changes his status to “engaged.”

TTYL:)

The post Social Networking appeared first on Mad4Flash Blog.

We have found some of the most hilarious and ridiculous protesting signs, we though we would share them with you!

Incoming search terms:

• ridiculous signs

The post Ridiculous Protesting Signs appeared first on Mad4Flash Blog.

We have featured for you 24 people who you do not want to get in a fight with along with 24 reasons why you shouldn’t get in a fight with them. If you love it please share it, like it and leave a comment in the comment section below.

1. Any person who is a Burger-King-cup-carrying bad ass:

Via: pleated-jeans.com

2. Any person who pours a Caprisun into a glass like a DAMN BARBARIAN:

Via: canv.as

3. Any person with a personal vendetta against fast food restaurants:

Via: funnyjunk.com

4. Any person with an internet connection and several pictures of slides:

5. The creators of the television show “Monk:”

Via: i-am-bored.com

6. A person who lays in the exact position that’s not allowed:

Via: ivillage.com.au

7. A person who disobeys Rihanna:

Via: joyreactor.com

8. Any person who completely ignores EVERYTHING a match stands for:

Via: acidocasualidad

9. Any grandma who doesn’t play by the rules:

Via: breakbrunch.com

10. Or any baby who doesn’t play by the rules:

Via: marlonpalmer.net

11. A person with a blatant disregard of proper desktop backgrounds:

Via: nh9

12. Any person who disrespects a roll of bubble tape like this:

Via: makemelaugh.com

13. Any person who does something this destructive:

14. Or this destructive:

15. Any person who clearly has never seen the popular milk advertising campaign:

16. Any person who has a dog this defiant:

17. Any person who does something as cruel as this to a pair of scissors:

Via: reddit.com

18. Any person who won’t even try to draw a ship:

Via: dailypicksandflicks.com

19. Any person who doesn’t play by your typical mathematical rules:

Via: pleated-jeans.com

20. Any person who can’t help it when it comes to thinking about things:

Via: violentlybeatsdicks

21. Any person who has neither the time nor the patience to find the other door:

Via: reddit.com

22. Or any person who has absolutely no time for a kids maze:

Via: abstract-science

23. Any person who doesn’t let chocolate tell them what to do:

Via: reddit.com

24. And Brendon Chaney:

Via: bwaff.com

Incoming search terms:

• dont fight people in drugs

The post 24 People You Don’t Want to Fight appeared first on Mad4Flash Blog.

Trivia That Gives was originally launched with the goal that every answer helps a kid. Whether you answer right or wrong the time you spend playing on Trivia That Gives and telling others about it goes to help underprivileged kids. The game as I stated before is free to play, just like most online browser or web games. The game primarily produces income through advertising just as any website you are visiting. The profits made from advertising go to help wonderful children all around the world who have much less than we do.

Review on Trivia That Gives:

The game has over 1.3 million unique questions to answer with multiple categories ranging from: Entertainment, History, Science, Sports and subcategories in each of those. The great thing is you can play this game over and over and know that you wont see repeated questions since the question database is as large as it is. Here is a simple print screen of the site:

How to Play: Start by registering and creating  an account, If you are already an affiliate of Bids That Give/Bid Ambassadors Club your account should already be synced to the game. When you play you accumulate points each time you answer a question correctly. You have a time limit on each question, the sooner you answer the more beneficial it is for you. Points are directly associated with your personal account each time you login and play!

The Cause

The game is very addicting! The fact that this online game is helping kids is even better. Every answer helps a kid is the sole purpose behind the game.

And another great feature of the game is you can actually get paid to play and earn! Yes thats right if you promote the game to enough people you can actually get paid! If you want more information on how that works just contact us with the below contact form:

Incoming search terms:

• trivia that gives

The post Trivia That Gives Game appeared first on Mad4Flash Blog.

Here are 37 very special cat moments… Yes they should make you reconsider your thoughts on staying inside.

Drumroll please…

You’re finally home and can kick off your shoes!

1. Let’s get right to the point: Your friends are probably gonna get annoying and drunk anyway.

Source: imgfave

2. Then someone will get WAY too clingy.

Source: bunnyfood

3. And things’ll get REAL weird REAL quick.

Via: derpycats.com

4. BUT if you stay in… you can lounge around in your sweats.

Source: catsareeverywhere

5. Or your panties.

Source: catgasm

6. Or hell, NOTHING AT ALL.

Source: mrscreepshow

7. JUST LET IT ALL HANG LOSE.

Source: tabbybeard

8. You can wriggle out of that uncomfortable sweater you hate.

Source: panickingsecretly

9. You don’t have to worry if it’s raining or snowing outside.

Source: meowmeowmaru

10. You can just curl up on the couch next to a comfy pillow.

Source: nowhere-galaxy

11. Wrap yourself in a blanket.

Source: colfermorris

12. Maybe read a book?

Source: bunnyfood

13. Definitely watch your shows.

Source: bunnyfood

14. Or watch “Matilda” on Netflix.

Via: handfulofvisions

15. Or just surf the sites.

Source: johnquincyadams

16. You can be your weird self.

Source: naturalbornfrerardist

17. Do that freaky thing you always wanted to try.

Via: derpycats.com

18. Just think of all the money you’ll save by NOT GOING OUT!

Source: cashcats.biz

19. Obviously, you can crack open a soda.

Source: fuckyeahfatcat

20. Or a cold beer.

Source: addelburgh

21. Or a whole bottle of wine.

Via: catsdoingpeoplethings

22. And sit back with a friend and guzzle.

Source: catasters

23. And, when you’re inside, you have free access to all of your food reserves.

Source: ripcaseytatum

24. Or you can order a pizza!

Source: robotindisguise

25. Most importantly, you can just sit back.

Source: addelburgh

26. Collapse.

Source: caturday

27. And forget about that long week you had at the office.

Source: alienish

28. Put your legs up.

Source: derpycats.com

29. Slide into a comfortable position.

Source: catsbeaversandducks

30. And chill.

Source: blog.piercedesigns.com

31. Nobody to worry about but yourself.

Source: derpycats.com

32. Nothing to worry about until Monday.

Source: derpycats.com

33. You can just lounge.

Source: amanatsumikan

34. Lounge as hard as you want.

Source: caturday

35. Pull up the covers.

Source: 12hourhoe

36. And pass out whenever you want.

Source: jabroniichan

37. Best of all, you’ll be home and ready for brunch the next day!

The post 37 Special Cat Moments appeared first on Mad4Flash Blog.

Key Differences Between BTG and Zeek

Lets bullet point the 2 business models as well as the pros and cons:

ZeekRewards:

Pros:

• Paid out more affiliates in the period of operation compared to any other marketing business
• Over 600 Million dollars in bids were purchased in about a 2 year span (thats more than even large internet entities make)
• Fastest growing internet business in the history of MLM/marketing

Cons

• Daily Payout averaging 1.4% of points
• No cap on points, the continued to grow and grow some affiliates had over 1 million points..
• E-Wallets caused delay in payments
• Poor customer support
• Low quality products often never shipped
• Server issues + growth and capacity problems

Bids That Give

Bids That Give is the auction side and Bid Ambassadors is the affiliate marketing side of all the product lines. Bids That Give has more than one industry unlike Zeek which is known as Business in a box featuring Trivia That Gives, a Travel Club, Online Retail, beauty, nutritional and more. The power of advertising is incredible and should be limited just to a penny-auction niche but rather multiple products and services that people use.

Already right off the bat BTG is doing things right by creating actual product and services in addition to just all the other penny-auction copy cats. So if you are already an affiliate dont just focus on the auction Bids That Give and Bid Ambassadors has created something more than just that, they were a lot more creative and took their time creating a good program.

Next the compensation plan is structured in a way of actual product and profit sales. Real earnings and real profit. The business is not an MLM but actually a true affiliate marketing program and platform which is much more stable. There is no point retirement like in Zeek nor is there the compounding of points.

The value and profit each individual earns comes from the actual sale of bid purchases and products.

Bids That Give has their own system for transferring funds which is via an I-Wallet. Funds are transferred through direct deposit to your account and only takes about 3-5 days (normal ACH process). There is no hassle with I-wallet fees or waiting weeks before the funds clear as there was in ZeekRewards and Zeekler.

Video>>> Quick Review of the program:

Helping Kids:

Another key difference is the cause behind the auction and programs marketed by the Bid Ambassadors. While yes it great we as affiliates get paid in the business a part of the profits go to kids. The company takes 50% of the profits and the remainder is for the affiliates.  After the company pays their business expenses the remainder of the 50% on their end goes to help underprivileged children.

Growth of the company

The business launched their founders program on July 4th of 2012. Founders started with $1,000 in purchased bids at the Global Ambassador Level. At first opened to the United States only, the business focused more on integrity and longevity of the business rather than just growing as fast as they could.  December 06 of 2012 the business announced it would be launching for founders in Brasil- which of course it has.

Conclusion:

While many people are looking down we all need a good opportunity. I have been in the business for a few months and can see the improvements Bids That Give has accomplished.

If you still arent sure just ask any questions or concerns you may have in the form below:

The post Bids That Give Versus ZeekRewards appeared first on Mad4Flash Blog.

Well, lets look at what the business offers. Discuss the compensation plan etc.. I am here to simply give you the facts, you can make the decision in the end.

Bids That Give a Scam?

Bids That Give and the Bid Ambassadors Club was founded and launched on July 4th of 2012.  Founders could enter the business at the “Global Ambassador” title with a minimum purchase of $1,000 in bids. Timing and action are both very important when it comes to making a business decision. Many affiliates will mis-represent the business as an investment, this however is not the case. The legal disclaimers state that you are making a physical purchase and buying product, really no different then if you were to go to Wal-Mart and purchase products on their shelves.

Lets Compare Apples to Apples for a minute… Clear your mind.

Suppose you wanted to start your own business and I gave you the option between opening a small Starbucks Cafe or a large retail store like Wal-Mart. My first question to you is: “What is going to cost you more to open/build”. Your answer obviously would be Wal-Mart, it’s a larger store and requires more workforce. Now my following question is: “What is going to make you more money, Wal-Mart or Starbucks?” Wal-Mart obviously.

When you break down the facts and financial figures of any business you realize that nobody really became wealthy working a job. I try to think of successful people such as Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Warren Buffet and Mark Zuckerberg. Each of them created a business which are now empires to names such as: Microsoft, Apple, Berkshire Hathaway and Facebook. The list goes on, even the business you are currently working for if you do have a job started somewhere, do a little research and you can see that your business started mainly because their was a vision in mind to provide a service and product to consumers.

The difference between you (the employee) and the business owner is that the business owner whoever he/she may be took action, spent a little money to get started and now has a system of employees doing the work. It’s how every single business works, yet when we are presented with a business model such as Bids That Give we automatically assume its a scam.

The Product in Bids That Give

Bids That give is a legitimate business in the sense there is a product. The product is bids or bid packs which users purchase to participate in the auction. The bids can be used to win various items ranging from consumer electronics, gift cards, appliances and much, much more. There are other industries upcoming in BTG including: Trivia That Gives (online trivia game), Getaway That Gives (Travel Club) and much more which will add profit for the services they are provided.

The Affiliate Marketing Side: Bid Ambassadors Club

Affiliate Marketing is simply a term used to drive online sales by referrals. Many programs such as Ebay and Amazon use affiliate marketing where a user would register and promote the products through their own affiliate link. Commissions are paid based off of sales. Bids That Give and the Bid Ambassador Club pays based off of sales made from bids, the travel club an other industries that create the profit for each day.

How To Market With Affiliate Marketing and Bids That Give.

I am an expert in the field of internet marketing, traffic score and SEO. I understand that the real success in Network Marketing, MLM or Affiliate Marketing comes from duplication, group effort and teamwork. In order to leverage a successful business it means creating each individual on my team to their full potential of success. I want each person to be a leader and mentor, guiding others to produce the same results.

Myself and a friend have actually created a marketing system to duplicate our results on the internet. We know what it takes to create success and that is by making everyone on our team successful. I’m an expert in content, SEO and search engine rankings, he understands the value of a system, sales and communication. Together we are creating a team that does exact same, it doesn’t matter if you have any internet experience whatsoever, we are creating the system to just work in your favor- for free as long as you are on our team.

We have occasional webinars or can schedule personal 1 on 1 webinars with you and your team whenever. Those who attend will get a wealth of knowledge and the power of marketing online through social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Classifieds and more. This goes in depth, however you don’t need to understand the inner workings of the internet to be on our team, we provide the tools and system. The rest is literally done for you.

Free Capture Page and Lead System with Our Success Network:

Get a Free Capture Page Just Like This. Plus the Free System. Just Contact us

What Makes Bids That Give a Legitimate Work From Home Business Opportunity:

The fact is there is real product, real online sales and people participating in the online auction. The company is very profitable and makes it great for earning in the private revenue sharing pool. To full understand more of the business model in detail you can read this additional resource here

Ready to Get Started or Join Our Success Network?

Email: Chrisgroves3@gmail.com

or

Text/Call Me: 435-830-9899

Additional Resources for You:

Bids that Give Auction

Bid Ambassadors Club

Video: Is Bids That Give A Scam?

Incoming search terms:

• bids that give scam
• is bids that give a scam
• bidsthatgive scam
• bid that gives review
• Bids that Give 2012
• bids that give ponzy scheme
• bids that give reviews
• legal action on bids that give

The post Bids That Give Scam and Opportunity Review appeared first on Mad4Flash Blog.

You know that feeling when you get on the front page of Pinterest and you see all these great wonderful pins and designs? Some look so wonderful you begin to ask yourself how are regular people creating such magnificent crafts and projects? You then decide to take the challenge on yourself, you start by clicking on the pin and follow to easy to do instructions.

Moments later after following each project step by step you end up with something that doesn’t quite look like what you wanted it to. You have failed.. You have miserably failed in fact.  What should you do? Try again? Maybe you should consider pinning your final result or creation on to Pinterest and see if you get as many repins, like and comments?

We would like to share with you today some of the greatest pinterest fails. Try some of these yourself and see if you can get them to turn out the right way.

1. S’mores Cookies

I’d probably still eat this. No need to waste a perfectly good amount of chocolate.

2. String Art Balloons

A for effort.

Via: craftfail.com

3. Family Portrait

This one’s going on the wall.

Via: media-cache-ec3.pinterest.com

4. Cookie Monsters

Sigh.

Via: funnyuse.com

5. Pepper Eggs

Is it weird that I still want to try this? Despite the guaranteed disaster?

Via: 9gag.com

6. Marbled Nails

Not even going to attempt this one.

Via: craftfail.com

7. Chickadees

Nope.

Via: pintester.com

8. Tree Painting

I honestly feel I could do this one. Maybe.

Via: craftfail.com

9. Crayon Art

Lol.

Via: pinterest.com

10. Kit Kat Cake

Close enough?

Via: pinterest.com

11. Waffle Bites

This just looks messy. I’ll pass.

Via: pinterest.com

12. Cookie Holders

Nice try.

Via: pinstrosity.blogspot.com

13. Minion Cake

Legit laughed out loud at this one.

Via: pinstrosity.blogspot.com

14. Pumpkin Baby

I know, I’d cry too.

Via: pinstrosity.blogspot.com

15. Christmas Card

Of all the ones listed, this picture is probably the most successful.

Via: pinstrosity.blogspot.com

16. Door Wreath

Sad wreath doesn’t like the holidays.

Via: pinstrosity.blogspot.com

17. Hair Whip

Can’t even deal.

Via: epicpinterestfail.com

Incoming search terms:

• Failed Pinterest Projects

The post 17 Pinterest Project Fails appeared first on Mad4Flash Blog.

We as individuals love interacting and sharing material we find on the web. We as individuals of course are most likely going to respond to what are friends and connections on Facebook recommend rather than some random online advertisement. Social Media has really taken the online experience to a whole new level that the internet never experience 10 years ago. You probably remember when Myspace was the craze and that’s all that everyone talked about, maybe you still use Myspace?

Let’s take a quick peek at what Social Media would look like if it were in a “high school yearbook”.

Social Media Sterotypes: You Are What You Share.

Facts you can share!

1. Facebook:

• In 2011, liking “drugs” was up 1,139.9%
• 48% of Americans found news through their Facebook Feed
• In 2012, 52% of students reported being cyberbullied
• Monthly Active Users reach 1.01 Billion (up 680 million from a year ago)

2. YouTube

• YouTube partners make about $2.5 to $5 for every 1,000 video views. You will also only get paid if your account is over $100

3. Twitter

• 71% of tweets are ignored and only 23% of tweets get a reply.
• The average Twitter user has tweeted 307 times.
• There is a total of about 163 billion tweets since the dawn of Twitter.

4. Pinterest drives more traffic than Twitter

• Only 5% of the users are under the age 18
• 80% of the users on Pinterest are women
• Became the fastest standalone website to eclipse the 10 million per month mark ever

5. Google+

• In 2011 Google made $37.9 Billion
• Google+ Attracted 20 million users within the first 3 weeks of its launch
• Non-Mobile users spend an average of 3 minutes/month using Google+
• 30% of users who make a public post never make a second one

6. LinkedIN

• 97% of executives surveyed used LinkedIN in 2010
• Average income of a LinkedIN user is $89,000
• As of May 2012, there are over 20 million students and recent college graduates on LinkedIN

7. Instagram

• There are over 36 million pictures with the tag #me
• Over 899.605 pictures are tagged with #duckface
• Over 20,754 pictures have the #skank tag

8. FourSquare

• The 3 Most Popular Check-In Categories are: Food, Work, Shop.
• From 2010 to 2011 there was a 3,400% growth in check-ins
• Total of 2.5 Billion Check-ins

9. Yelp

• In 2012 more than 30 million reviews
• Every month in 2012 there is an average of 78 million unique visitors.
• A restaurant that boosts its Yelp Score by just one star can see an increase in revenue between 5-9%

10. Myspace

• MySpace has a music catalog of more than 42 million songs
• Between January and February  2011 unique visitors to Myspace declined by 14.4%

The post The Top Social Media Sites Infographic appeared first on Mad4Flash Blog.

This Christmas we decided to group together all of the hottest Christmas Gifts for 2012 to help narrow down your shopping list for him, her and the kids.

This is our exclusive and most comprehensive Christmas and Black Friday shopping list. We hope it saves you time or at least gives you some really good Christmas Ideas for 2012.

Hot Electronics:

The Kindle Fire HD

The Kindle Fire is a hot item at an affordable price. Especially if you are out and about trying to substitute for items like the Ipad3 which will run you nearly twice or triple the amount of the High Definition Display Kindle Fire.

• 1280×800 HD display with polarizing filter and anti-glare technology for rich color and deep contrast from any viewing angle
• Exclusive Dolby audio and dual-driver stereo speakers for immersive, virtual surround sound
• Front-facing HD camera for taking photos or making video calls using Skype, Facebook, or other apps

Our Review: The kindle fire makes a great item for those who love to read, browse the web and enjoy portable entertainment, movies and applications as well.

Fuji SL300 14 MP Digital Camera

When are you looking for an affordable Digital  Camera at a very affordable price then we have just the camera that will clearly make any photographer or camera lover go crazy! A camera makes a great gift, you can capture stunning high quality photographs, record video and zoom in really close with the amazing 30x built in optical zoom.

Also some additional features:

• 3.0″ LCD
• TTL Hot Shoe
• 720p HD Movies

Our Review: For the price and features of the camera, this is definitely worth it. Overall a good camera for professional photographs for any beginner or intermediate photographer.

Home Audio Sound System

Wireless Subwoofer plus audio bar for that in-home theater experience. Boost the acoustics of your overall audio experience. This is great for both rooms big and small without all the hassles of mounting and wiring. Setup and installation takes under 10 minutes!

Includes: Boston Acoustics TVee Model 25 soundbar, speaker grille, wireless subwoofer, detachable power cord, analog RCA cable, digital optical cable, owner’s manual, and quick-start guide.

Our Review: Produces excellent sound quality. Very easy to install for most users.

Garmin GPS Navigator

Do you know somebody who gets lost easily? Or maybe it was the last person to show up at the Christmas Party? A great Garmin GPS is perfect and very easy to install and mount. Maps are always updated by the satellite for accurate and fast directions. Get to where you are going faster, save gas time and money!

• Free lifetime maps with over 6 million points of interest; Hear spoken street names
• Speed limit indicator
• Trip computer records mileage, max speed, total time and more,Lane assist with junction view

Our Review: A GPS makes a great gift for a new driver or someone who travels abroad often.

 Apple Ipod Touch 32 GB 5th Generation

Ipod lovers, it’s time for an upgrade with the new stylish 5th generation Ipod Toch from Apple.

• Brand-new Apple Earpods & iPod touch loop
• Brilliant 4 Retina display with Multi-Touch IPS technology
• 5MP iSight camera with 1080p HD video
• The 5-megapixel iSight camera lets you take stunning photos, even in panorama, or record 1080p video. Discover music, movies, and more from the iTunes Store, or browse apps and games from the App Store. And with iOS 6—the world’s most advanced mobile operating system—you get Siri, iMessage, Facebook integration, FaceTime, Game Center, and more. Now that sounds fun.

Our Review: The newest Ipod Touch has plenty of storage for the hottest applications, games and all of your favorite music at the touch of a button.

Sony 3D Blu-Ray Disc Player

If you yourself or if you know somebody that is still in the DVD player age  maybe it’s time to consider upgrading the a Blu-Ray Player.

• 3D Blu-ray Disc Player with Full HD 1080p playback
• Built-in Wi-Fi, Digital Audio Output(s) : 1 Optical (Rear); 1 Coxial (Rear)
• AVCHD, GIF, JPEG, MP3, MPEG-4, MPEG1, MPEG2, PNG; Media Remote app for iPhone/iPad & Android phones

Our Review: By far one of the top rated Blu-Ray players on the market. Makes a great gift for Christmas for the entire family. Better get it before it sales out on Black Friday.

Google Nexus 7 Tablet

Tablets are really popular. There are so many different kinds to choose from, it’s almost hard to determine which is the best? We are featuring the Google 7 Nexus Tablet for those folk who need to get their early Christmas shopping done and need a little help deciding what to buy.

What more could you ask for? She will love it. Yes she will.

Books/50 Shades of Grey

If mom loves to read try to find her some good books. The number one selling book of the year is “50 Shades of Grey”. Why not include the whole series.. This is a mommy must read, if you haven’t heard of it and mom loves books read a few reviews and consider putting this on your shopping list.

Now available as a three-volume paperback boxed set, E L James’s New York Times #1 bestselling trilogy has been hailed by Entertainment Weekly as being “in a class by itself.” Beginning with the GoodReads Choice Award Romance Finalist Fifty Shades of Grey, the Fifty Shades Trilogy will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

Our Review: Make sure you review and do research before buying this series. Mom may either hit you or love you. LOL

Quilt/Bed Set

Women love bedding.. This can make a great couple gift as well.. Unless of course it’s  just  her who makes the decisions in bed. LOL

There are many different quilts and bed style sets. Find the colors that go best with the room. If you are like me I am not very good and picking colors out.

If a full bed set is not what you are looking for stick to a simple blanket. Maybe a blanket of your moms favorite logo, brand or team… Etc…. Just be creative and you can pick out the gift she will truly love!

 Artwork/Posters

If she has the more decorative touch, likes art and colours consider a painting or extra touch to the bedroom or living area.

Paintings truly make a great gift and is a bit more unique than your typical lotions and potions type of Christmas. We all know that mom can be difficult to shop for seeing that she has just about everything possible she could every need!

Show her that you have the creative side and can pick out the gift of colours and art. Express yourself and show her that you took the time to think about her this great holiday season.

We hope you enjoy the artwork idea!

Kitchen Set

From tupper-ware, to knives, dining, elegant dishes, fancy glasses and dining. She can never go wrong with a kitchen set. There is always that little something missing in the kitchen, whether it be the right silverware, cups and fine dining experience.

Featured to the right is a 15 pc non-stick cooking set.

She loves necklaces. Whether it be your girlfriend, wife or mom. This beautiful Diamond HeartPendant necklace is new and popular this year!

Even the smallest things in life can mean so much to her. This is an absolutely beautiful white-gold, diamond pendant and is one of a kind.

Fine jewelry always will keep her happy, from bracelets, rings and necklaces.

Our review: Necklaces are a simple gift that say a lot about a love for a woman. Necklaces can be great for that special someone in your life, mother, grandma or any woman for that matter.

Full Product Details: 10k Gold 3-stone Diamond Heart Pendant with 18″ Chain (1/10 Cttw; I-J Color)

Purse/Handbag

Every woman loves a purse or handbag to carry all her personal items. Now realize just because she has one another one wouldn’t hurt her feelings by any means.  This Designer Inspired Metal Studded Soft Leatherette Shopper Hobo Tote Shoulder Bag Satchel Handbag Purse comes in 4 different elegant colors/styles.

• Designer inspired handbag with polished metal hardware.
• Large and roomy interior with multiple pockets for easy organization.
• Double rolled handles perfect for shoulder carrying.
• Made of manmade leather.

Be inspired by this gleaming stud trim. Metal stud details and leatherette is the ultimate tough-luxe accessory in this fashion forward season.

Women’s Dress/Jacket

Next you should know every woman loves clothing. The problem is finding a dress/jacket or clothing material that she will actually wear. The key is to snoop through your wifes closet and she what her style is. Find something similar and new, she will absolutely love it!

There is a plethora of styles to choose from. Stripes, single colored, designer and fashion. Read and view the reviews to see what other people are saying about the particular piece of clothing. Find something your special girl needs, whether it be a jacket, new t-shirt (custom made or pre-made), sweater etc…

And if you really need some ideas picking out clothes for her, hopefully you have a daughter that can assist you **HINT, HINT** Dad.

Mom always loves clothes! And if you are really having trouble deciding what to buy a gift card to her favorite store wouldn’t be a bade idea either. Gift cards go great with Gift Baskets (see above)

 Toys Games and Fun

Little Girls Doll and Play Set

Every special little girl will love a doll set, kitchen set or something that puts her in the scene of real life without causing a mess in your house or kitchen.

Little kitchen sets will give your little girl the feeling of being just like  mommy, she will start cooking you little meals of plastic goodness without getting pizza sauce all over the kitchen floor.

There are also a variety of doll houses that girls love as well. Make this Christmas extra special when you see the smile on your daughters face as she is enlightened and enthused about an amazing Christmas Present.

 Chutes and Ladders Super Hero Squad

Mom and dad used to play the classic game of Chutes and ladders. How about we let them join in on this version as well kids?

Ultra stomp rocket is very popular and fun to do! You can shoot this rocket up to 200 ft in the air. Your son will love this and probably invite all his friends over to come and give this a try… At least it will keep them out of trouble.

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